Its been a while since I last ate some veg.
My problems started when I lived in New Mexico. I’d been eating a lot of meat. A steak here a burger there. I thought it was ok. Everyone was doing it. Didn’t think it was a big deal. Soon the steak at dinner became the steak at breakfast. I still thought I was ok. Sure some people thought I was eating too much meat, but I didn’t listen. I now know this was the beginning of my addiction. If only someone had tried to help me at the time, things could have been so different. Soon I was dunking steak in my coffee. Brushing my teeth with dripping. I even ate steak sandwiches, two steaks with a steak in between.
It was affecting my work. I was making mistakes, all I could think about was meat. I used to keep some offal by the bed, just in case I woke up and needed a snack.
Around this time I lost my job. I used to be a doctor. I had to surrender my licence or be struck off. Did I care? Not at the time, as long as I had some meat close by I was happy.
After a few weeks of being unemployed I started to panic. How was I going to buy more meat?
I had reached rock bottom. I needed a plan. I thought if I could convince other people to eat as much meat as I did, perhaps I could make some money from it so I would never have to go Offal free at bedtime again.
I decided to use my MD title to give myself some credibility despite being deemed incompetent to practise medicine. After all Id seen many other disgraced doctors get rich by starting food fads that killed people. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I couldn’t help myself. I came up with the slogans “carnivore” and “meat heals”.
People lapped it up. I became a celebrity. Pictures of me everywhere with pieces of meat in my hands, in my mouth it was like a dream come true. My addiction was at its worst. But I didn’t care. I was the man that people wanted to be like.
One morning I woke up and found a tooth on my pillow. Thought nothing of it. Just ate an extra steak as I was convinced lack of meat had made it happen. Then my hair started going dry and falling out. Again I just ate more meat. The warning signs were there but I wasn’t listening. After I lost 6 teeth in as many days including my canines, I thought maybe I should see a dentist. He immediately referred me to a specialist. I had scurvy. I couldn’t share this with my fellow carnivores so I kept it quiet bought some dentures and carried on as normal. The specialist must have been a vegan, I told myself.
I just ate mince from then on as it was easier to chew.
Then something happened that made me really question my diet. I had a blood test. I was diabetic and my testosterone levels were as low as those of a 90 year old man. This was a wake up call. I’d always thought eating lots of meat made me more manly. I did my best to brush of the results publicly but this time there were too many questions. People had started asking about my MD status, my blood work, my receding hairline. It felt like the walls were caving in.
I had to do something so I started lashing out. I started a rumour that my licence was being reinstated, started attacking those eating healthy diets, all the time the results of my blood work were filling my thoughts like a cold mist.
Ive started cheating, I’m now eating fruit and veg, nobody knows. I feel better, so much better. The more veg I eat the better I feel. But I can’t tell anyone. I have a book to sell. I really have no choice but to carry on pretending. It’s eating me up inside and I’m sorry for encouraging others to do the same as I did.
If you are reading this and thinking of going carnivore, don’t do it. I’ve lost all of my teeth, my hair and sincerely wish I’d never been introduced to meat. It’s wrecked my life. Don’t let it wreck yours